HOW TO STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY WORK

"Stress" is an emotion. "Feeling pressured", "feeling overwhelmed", and "feeling tense" are all emotions too.

Handling a high workload can be a very emotionally charged experience requiring high levels of emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.

Low levels of emotional intelligence can contribute to making workplaces more stressful than they need to be.In contrast, having high emotional intelligence skills can help individuals and groups cope with the pressure and stress of a busy, tense and demanding workplace, the pressure of multiple responsibilities, and the conflicting demands of high workloads.

This article will examine how we can be very busy and handle all our many responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed, and while staying content, productive and emotionally healthy.

HERE ARE SOME EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TIPS ON HOW TO STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY A HIGH WORKLOAD.

1 -  SORT THE DEMANDS INTO AREAS: Stress and feeling overwhelmed can occur when we feel stretched across too many different activities, responsibilities and tasks. By separating the demands into different areas it may reduce the feelings of overwhelm. For example, much of my life has been very full. What I have found really useful in managing this is to allocate the load into different areas that I can manage separately. I find this stops me from getting overwhelmed by how much there is to do, as I can move from one section to another instead of seeing it all in one overwhelming mass.

For example, here are the four sections I moved between at one stage of my life:

• Running a full time business.
• Being a voluntary CEO of a large not-for-profit organisation.
• My family responsibilities.
• Teaching.

When I saw my workload whittled down into these four areas of responsibilities, they didn't overwhelm me. It also kept me focussed and on track. In contrast, if I don't have these groups, I end up looking at one big, incredibly long to-do list and freak out. I still separate my areas. I presently have my four main work areas, and a fifth minor one, written out and stuck on my computer to remind me.

What are the different areas of your life - can you split them up to make it seem more manageable? It is an essential emotional intelligence skill. Separating out demands helps many people to manage their emotions.

2 - DO THE PRIORITIES IN EACH AREA: Once you have your separate areas of work or responsibilities identified, your next step is to be able to identify your priority task in each one and do only the priorities.

Each day I identify the number one priority in each area and do that. I try to do the priorities first before any unimportant nice-to-do things. Although these nice-to-do things can be pleasant they don't help manage my workload. Doing the priorities stops the stress from building up.

I remember the days I used to do the nice, small things first and then feel enormous pressure as I still had the priorities to tend to. Hopefully those days are over and I now have higher levels of emotional intelligence.

Do you attend to your priorities? Are you doing your priorities? Do you even stop to ask yourself what they are? Knowing your priorities is being emotionally intelligent.

3 - CHANGE PRIORITIES AT ANY MOMENT: Be prepared to change priorities at any moment. Be flexible, your priorities are not set in concrete. It is impossible to always know in advance what the priorities are. I therefore decide what they are each day, (or even each hour).

• First I decide which of the four sections is the key priority for that day.
• Then I decide what the priority is in that section.
• Then I do it.

Once done I check out and move on to one of the other three sections. This can be fun - a bit like playing hop-scotch! However, the priorities can change at any moment. For example, you may find one of your children suddenly gets admitted to hospital and all priorities are altered. Or, an urgent request comes from your boss and you switch to that. Or, you find the media ran a negative story on your business that morning. This is how life is.

• Be prepared to change priorities at any moment.
• A willingness to re-evaluate very often is vital.
• Rigidity only builds stress.

How flexible are you? Are you clinging to your plan? Be prepared to change priorities at any moment. This is emotional intelligence in action.

4 - BE ACTIVE IN STAYING HEALTHY: Being healthy is so important in managing a busy life and responsibilities. It is so much harder if you have a headache or flu or backache to avoid becoming stressed. So take care of yourself: your children deserve it, your colleagues need it and you will be happier because of it.

Do what you need to cultivate your health. The busier you are the more important it is that you eat healthy food - no junk - all good food.

The busier you are the more determined you must be to fit in exercise too.

Also the harder you work the more you must clear your mind of the junk and stress.

For example, I make sure that I nearly always put time aside for meditation each day. When I meditate my stress levels diminish and my energy levels rise. I work more productively when I meditate and do it with a greater sense of calm and enjoyment. I have more quality in my life when I meditate. If I don't meditate the stress builds. It is hardly a waste of time then, is it?

Are you determined enough to invest in your own health? Desiring work-life balance requires you to take care of your body, mind and spirit. Are you taking enough care of your health? Emotional intelligence can be applied to all areas of your life. Just because you feel tired and can't be bothered to exercise doesn't mean you don't do it.

5 -  INCLINE TOWARDS POSITIVITY: Incline your mind towards gratitude and positivity. Negative emotions, such as resentment, frustration and anger only add to stress - they do not help reduce it.

Ditch negativity, complaining and anger; they simply increase the stress load. Instead, on a daily basis and in all that you do, train yourself to incline towards positivity and gratitude.

For example, one night I was having to work for the government - not through choice but because the government requires all businesses, big or small, to do lots of administration for tax purposes. It was getting late and I was still slogging through it. Given it was the last day of the tax year it had to be the priority that day.

I heard myself starting to mutter about stupid red tape and complaining about tax policies and how unfair they were on small business. Then I stopped.

Why was I doing that? My complaining was going to make no difference to whether I had to do it or not. The government wasn't going to alter the taxation rules or regulations just because I complained about them. So why get negative? All it was doing was making myself agitated and more stressed. My complaining was hurting me and my Assistant as he was nearby. Do not feed your feelings of being overwhelmed by more negative feelings. It is hardly emotionally intelligent, is it?

I laughed and appreciated that at least my business was still going strong, and I was sitting in front of a lovely log fire on a very cold night.

Even doing the tax can be a lovely thing if you let it and incline towards gratitude.

Do not feed your feelings of being overwhelmed by more negative feelings. It is typical of low emotional intelligence.

Do you incline your mind towards gratitude? It could make it much easier to manage your responsibilities, and it's a beneficial way to develop your emotional intelligence.

Thank you for taking your time to read my work. 

Trust that add value to you.

About the Author:

Emília M. Ludovino, is an international Social & Emotional Intelligence Trainer, Performance Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Reiki Master/Teacher, founder of the Ki Flow - Emotional Intelligence Training and The Emotional Intelligence Project, social entrepreneur and a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation. She holds a LLM Master in International Law from Lisbon’s Law School and a degree in Psychology from School of Applied Psychology, from Lisbon.

EXTRAVERTS CAREFUL - BURNOUT AHEAD

ENTJs stands for Extraversion, iNtuition, Thinking, Judging. ENTJ  -  are one of the most forthright and decisive personality types. They have many strengths and are skilled at seeking out problems, grasping complexity and finding solutions. They deal with things in a rational and logical way and are natural leaders who like to take charge. They get things done.

ENTJs are said to make-up about 5% of the population, although I have personally met a higher percentage than this in my work, probably because they are drawn to executive and leadership roles. Hence the importance of their Emotional intelligence at work. However, they do not always have excellent people skills and may be perceived as blunt, critical or domineering. They can seem very confident and be sociable and affable, but may take over. They are often quick to form judgements and may express these in a forceful way.

It is important to say that not all ENTJs are the same; naturally each ENTJ has his or her own characteristics that go far beyond either personality type or emotional intelligence. Nonetheless, while all ENTJs will not have the same levels of emotional intelligence, nor be identical in character, they may find some aspects of emotional intelligence harder to develop than other types, may use their emotional intelligence in different ways, and may benefit from focusing on different applications of EI at work. I also appreciate that some ENTJs will have little interest in emotional intelligence, preferring instead to focus on rational logic. However, ENTJs often lead people and if they are not interested in their EI at work, the people they lead probably are, as it impacts directly on them. This article examines:

• The emotions that may typically arise in an ENTJ in particular situations.
• The emotional impact they may have on others.
• Ways that an ENTJ may manage these emotions and be at their best.

Here are 3 ways, out of the many, that an ENTJ can use his or her Emotional Intelligence at work.

1 - WATCH OUT FOR BURNOUT: Enthusiasm can be common amongst ENTJs - enthusiasm for getting things done. ENTJs are hard working types. They may strive to maintain efficiency at work and to implement strategies to move an organisation towards its goals. ENTJs are also one of the visionary types. They see things that can be improved, and have the ability to marshal people to implement their ideas.  In the process they may demand high standards of themselves and others. Competency and expertise are core values for them. All INtuitve types generate what I call "good ideas", including ENTJs, but ENTJs not only generate good ideas they act on them. There can be an emotional and physical cost of being so active and capable. ENTJs can be workaholics and burn out.Thus, it can be helpful for ENTJs to monitor their emotions to ensure they are not becoming tired or stressed. Emotional self-awareness is an important part of EI at work, but it is not the primary mode of operation for an ENTJ. If you are an ENTJ, pace yourself and don't follow every good idea you have. Just because you see an inefficiency in an organisation, club or workplace doesn't always mean you have to be the person to lead the charge to correct it,  even though you know you would do an excellent job. You don't need to put your hand up to lead or take over an organisation because it isn't run as well as you would run it. There is a limit, even for an ENTJ, as to how many good jobs you can do at the same time, so prioritise and don't change your enthusiasm for exhaustion. You need your EI at work so you can select those jobs you are most passionate about and which have the most far-reaching outcomes.

2 - CHOOSE HOW YOU GIVE FEEDBACK AND OPINIONS: ENTJs have as the dominant part of their personality, Extraverted Thinking. They tend to speak their thoughts out loud. When the critical thinking of their extraverted thinking preference is combined with the decisiveness of the Judging preference, they can sometimes come across as negative, critical or too blunt to other types, (particularly the SFs – Sensitive + Feeling). This can mean that without meaning to, they can leave others feeling hurt, undermined, dominated or put-down, bullied or even abused.In order to develop even more EI at work consider giving your instructions, expressing your opinions and providing feedback with more sensitivity than you might think necessary. If you are an ENTJ you are likely to be honest and direct in expressing your opinions, and value others who respond in like kind. However, not all types respond well to this. You may "say things as they are" or make comments such as, "If they didn't like my feedback, why did they ask for it?"

One way for you to develop even higher communication skills is to consider the emotional impact that your communication may have on other types. This involves skills in emotional reasoning and emotional prediction, which are sub-components of the emotional reasoning and decision making. You know what needs to be said, you have the opinion, what matters now is HOW the opinion is expressed; there are many ways, not just one. Consider whether if there is a way of saying what you want to say that will make it easier for other types to listen to you. That way you're more likely to be successful and get your way!

I can imagine you saying "The other types should toughen up, speed up and not be so sensitive!". Well, not necessarily; if you use high levels of EI at work you may find that give and take on both sides helps you achieve your outcomes faster.

3 - PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS: All types have what Carl Jung called an "Inferior Function" or shadow side to their personalities. Your Inferior Function is the part of you that is the least well developed but under times of significant stress may take you over. At these times you may become more negative in some way; in what way is determined by your type. As an ENTJ, your inferior function is Introverted Feeling. This can mean you are butting up against this when you want to develop high levels of emotional intelligence in certain areas, such as emotional self-awareness and reasoning with emotions.

How does your inferior function influence your behaviour? You may usually thrive on intellectual challenges or constructive criticism of your work from people you respect, but under stress you may become affected by what you perceive as personal attack.

When you're on top of things as an ENTJ your logical thinking is dominant, when you're down you may be more ruled by your emotions. This can feel very uncomfortable for you and you may not trust judgements you make on the basis of what you might consider are irrational feelings. As your inferior function is Introverted Feeling, you may develop self-loathing, become dejected, feel alone or find it hard to convey your feelings to others. These are not healthy states for an ENTJ to be in.

One stressed ENTJ told me that he thinks feelings are wishy-washy, airy-fairy things. He rubbished people who expressed their feelings. This is not a good sign of EI at work, but is not a surprise given his inferior function, and because he is judging feeling types from his experience as a dominant thinking type. However, other types may be able to help you at this time as they are far more familiar with feelings and may use them more reliably. Talking with people who have Feeling as their dominant may help you work through and value your feelings, providing they don't try and push you too hard.

So be aware of what is happening around you, pick up early on triggers for stress, such as personal criticism, and don't let it sneak under your guard or erode your positive feelings about yourself.

Thank You for taking your time to read my blog. 

Please, if the information was useful for you, leave me your feedback on the comments below, and share it with others, as we never know when we are inspiring someone.

Take Care and Have a Blessed Day!