The I stands for Introversion, N for iNtuition, F for Feeling and
J for Judging. It is one of the rarest of the types.
Emotional intelligence and personality are not the same and I feel wary of
writing about them together in case it implies a link between the two that does
not exist. However, I have for over 8 years used the Myers Briggs Type
Indicator (MBTI - 16 personality types inventory) with my clients (and staff,
family, friends and myself), and found it invaluable.
It has helped people in their personal and professional development to
understand people's differences, build teams, reduce conflict, understand
themselves and develop effective communication skills. I am interested in being
able to help the 16 different types to develop their EQ at work. There is no
one way that EI at work can be developed or applied. Human beings are far more
varied and complex for such a possibility to even be considered. Instead, the
different types may find some aspects of emotional intelligence easier to
develop than others, may use their emotional intelligence in different ways,
and may benefit from focusing on different strategies of EQ at work. In fact, I
am sure some types will be more interested in emotional intelligence than
others! However, while some may not be interested in their own EQ at work, the
people with whom they work and interact probably are, as it impacts directly on
them.
Here are 5 ways an INFJ can use his or her EI
at work and get the best out of being an INFJ:
1 - DO NOT BE FAZED IF OTHERS ARE NOT LIKE YOU
An INFJ can feel like an oddball, misunderstood, on the outer, or isolated.
There is a reason for this. INFJs form only about 1% of the population. This
means that, as an INFJ, out of every 100 people you meet, 99 of them are not
the same type as you. Many INFJs I know feel they don't fit in - this is why.
One way of managing your emotions is to know you are rare, and that it is not
your imagination, or people treating you badly. Another step towards feeling
comfortable being an INFJ amongst non-INFJs is to not expect others to be the
same. It is an expectation that will cause you problems.
Just accept that you are rare, special and different.
Develop instead a complete confidence in the strengths that you have and use
these strengths at work. Then your emotions will be far more likely to be
positive. Emotional intelligence involves being able to manage your own
emotions and to build positive ones that can help you.
2 - CHAMPION YOUR CAUSE
INFJs are typically people who feel passionate about helping the community or
following a passion or cause. They may be champions of the poor, persecuted or
lonely and need meaning and purpose in their working lives. Allow this part of
your personality to be nurtured at work, it will help give your life the
meaning it needs. It will also help our society. For example, you might opt to
belong to the social committee, you may persuade others at work to adopt a
charity and raise funds for it, or you may help establish a community care
program within your organisation.
If an INFJ works for an uncaring organisation, where people are treated poorly,
they may suffer badly from feeling down, stressed or tense. These are unhealthy
emotions, especially for INFJs, whose psychological health significantly
impacts on their physical health possibly more than other types. Some of the
famous INFJs are said to be Ghandi, Mother Teresa and Oprah Winfrey - they all
had/have a cause. This could warm the heart of any INFJ. If caring for others
helps you to feel good about yourself and feel fulfilled, then it is the
emotionally intelligent thing to do.
3 - BREAK FROM THE DETAILS
INFJs may feel tired, weary, overwhelmed, stressed, inadequate and worn-out if
they spend too long focusing on details. While details may be a strength of
other types, especially many Sensates, they can become stressful for an INFJ.
The longer an INFJ concentrates on them the more likely they are to become
overwhelmed by them, especially if there are other stressful aspects of the
situation, such as the high pressure of a looming deadline, anxiety about being
challenged, the need to comply with detailed legislation, or the like. Thus, it
is best not to focus on them for long stretches at a time. Just deal with them
in short bursts and then return to the big picture. As an INFJ your inferior
function (that part of you that is least well developed, i.e. your shadow side in
Jungian psychology,) is extraverted sensing. This means you may not have a good
head for details in your external environment especially when you are tired.
Check your details. Do not gloss over them especially when you are tired and
driving a car, for instance. Think about the road safety campaigns of recent
years - they have placed a lot of emphasis on driver fatigue as a cause of
crashes. I imagine an INFJ who is tired finds it even more difficult because
they already have extraverted sensing as their inferior.
Details are important. They can keep you safe. When INFJS are tired they may
walk into doorways or bruise themselves on office desks, or stub their toes on
chairs. Emotional self-awareness is an important part of emotional
intelligence. It is important that INFJs are aware of their emotions, so they
can take precautionary steps to say safe within their external environment at
work when they are tired or stressed.
4 - CHOCOLATE CAKE IS NOT THE ONLY ANSWER
When INFJs feel stressed they may typically over-indulge in sensory pleasures
such as overeating, blobbing for hours in front of the television, or shopping
until they drop. There are emotionally healthier ways an INFJ can manage these
emotions at work instead of making repeated raids on the staff canteen, tea
room or lolly jar! Watch out for signs of stress and if they are there, stop
the stress rather than stuffing your face with comfort food! A gentle reminder
on your screensaver, "Is this mind food or stomach food?" could
be helpful. If it is mind food, do not eat; instead, do something more
nurturing and less fattening for your type.
You might go for a short walk and watch the clouds, a good way for an INFJ to
go to a big picture relaxing scene. You might close your eyes and daydream for
two minutes and let your introverted iNtuition take you on a wonderful journey.
You might sit and meditate for a short while or do a Tai Chi or Feldenkrais
sequence to calm and ease the stress. Emotional intelligence activities are
many - there is no one right way to manage your emotions; over eating is only
one way; generate other options.
5 - TAKE TIME OUT
INFJs can feel distressed, annoyed or bothered by noisy environments at work in
which they are constantly having to interact with people or be interrupted.
They are not alone; many Introverts feel like this to various extents. Finding
places to obtain peace and quiet at work can help restore a sense of
equilibrium or calm. Take time out to be on your own, to reflect and daydream;
for example in your lunch or tea break
In addition to this, INFJs have the dominant characteristic of being
Introverted iNtuitives. They need therefore to allow their minds to daydream,
fantasize and create, to find the significance in things, to be in touch with
their deeper selves, to explore their inner world and all the other things
their type needs. They may benefit from developing a quiet space at home where
they can seek refuge after a busy day at work, and from the children.
Self-understanding is very important if you want to develop higher levels of
emotional intelligence at work and home. Knowing your type is part of this and
can help you develop your EI at work. The different types have different
emotional needs and ways of having these satisfied.
What is your EI at work? Could knowing your personality type help you develop
it more?
Thank You for taking your time to read my blog.
Please, if the information was useful for
you, leave me your feedback on the comments below, and share it with
others, as we never know when we are inspiring someone.
Take Care and Have a Blessed Day!
