That's its balance.

Sadness gives depth.

Happiness gives height.

Sadness gives roots.

Happiness gives branches.

Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously.

The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion.

That's its balance."



About the Author:

Emília M. Ludovino, Amsterdam-based, is an international Social & Emotional Intelligence Trainer, NLP Master Practitioner, Reiki Master/Teacher a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation,  founder of the Ki Flow - Emotional Intelligence Training and The Emotional Intelligence Project. She holds a LLM Master in International Law and a degree in Psychology. She has been working as an Emotional Intelligence Trainer and Coach, at UNITAR (United Nations Institute for Training and Research) and as an independent Trainer & Coach, worldwide, for Law Firms, Law Enforcement, Private Banking, NGOs, Hospitals, Schools, Entrepreneurs, etc. Previously, she worked as an International Lawyer for worldwide NGOs, European and African Governments and multinational companies.

Mindset Change... SELF - Gratification

Mindset Change... Something to Think about ….


Practice saying this ten times a day:
I LOVE ME!
I LOVE MONEY!
I LOVE SEX!
I LOVE POWER!
I LOVE GLORY!
I LOVE FAME!
I LOVE SUCCESS!
I LOVE WINNING!
I LOVE THE ADULATION OF OTHERS!
I LOVE BEING BETTER!
I LOVE HAVING MORE!
I LOVE KNOWING HOW!
I LOVE KNOWING WHY!

All through are live we have been made to feel guilty about THE THINGS WE WANT MOST.
I tell you this: - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the things you desire – for your love of them draws them to you. These things are the stuff of life. When you love them, you love life! When you declare that you desire them, you announce that you choose all the good that life has to offer!

So choose SEX – all the sex you can get! And choose POWER – all the power you can muster!

And chose FAME – all the fame you can attain! And choose SUCCESS – all the success you can achieve!

And choose WINNING – all the winning you can experience!

YET,

Do not choose SEX instead of LOVE, but as a celebration of it.

Do not choose POWER OVER, but POWER WITH.

Do not choose FAME as an end in itself, but as a means to a LARGER END.

Do not choose SUCCESS to the expense of others, but as a tool with which to assist others.

Do not choose WINNING at any cost, but WINNING that cost others nothing, and even brings them gain as well.

CHOOSE the ADULATION OF OTHERS – but see all others as beings upon which you can shower adulation, and DO IT!

CHOOSE BEING BETTER – but not better than others, rather, better than you were before.

CHOOSE HAVING MOORE – but only so that you have more to give.

YES!!! CHOOSE “KNOWING HOW” and “KNOWING WHY” - so you can share all knowledge with others.

All your live you have been taught that is better to give than to receive.
Yet, you can not give what you do not have.

This is why SELF GRATIFICATION is so important – and why it is so unfortunate that it has come to sound so ugly.

Obviously, self-gratification at the expenses of others is not what we`re talking about here. This is not about ignoring the needs of others.

Yet, life should also not have to be about ignoring your own needs.

LOVING-KINDNESS MEDITATION

The original name of this practice is metta bhavana, which comes from the Pali language. Metta means ‘love’ (in a non-romantic sense), friendliness, or kindness: hence ‘loving-kindness’ for short. It is an emotion, something you feel in your heart. Bhavana means development or cultivation. The commonest form of the practice is in five stages, each of which should last about five minutes for a beginner.

It is a fact of life that many people are troubled by difficult emotional states in the pressured societies we live in, but do little in terms of developing skills to deal with them. Yet, even when the mind goes sour it is within most people's capacity to arouse positive feelings to sweeten it. 

Loving-kindness is a meditation practice taught by the Buddha to develop the mental habit of selfless or altruistic love. In the Dhammapada can be found the saying: "Hatred cannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if supplanted with thoughts based on loving-kindness."

Loving-kindness is a meditation practice, which brings about positive attitudinal changes as it systematically develops the quality of 'loving-acceptance'. It acts, as it were, as a form of self-psychotherapy, a way of healing the troubled mind to free it from its pain and confusion. 

Of all Buddhist meditations, loving-kindness has the immediate benefit of sweetening and changing old habituated negative patterns of mind. To put it into its context, Loving-kindness is the first of a series of meditations that produce four qualities of love: Friendliness, Compassion, Appreciative Joy and Equanimity. 

The quality of 'friendliness' is expressed as warmth that reaches out and embraces others. When loving-kindness practice matures it naturally overflows into compassion, as one empathises with other people's difficulties; on the other hand one needs to be wary of pity, as its near enemy, as it merely mimics the quality of concern without empathy. The positive expression of empathy is an appreciation of other people's good qualities or good fortune, or appreciative joy, rather than feelings of jealousy towards them. This series of meditations comes to maturity as 'on-looking equanimity'. This 'engaged equanimity' must be cultivated within the context of this series of meditations, or there is a risk of it manifesting as its near enemy, indifference or aloofness. So, ultimately you remain kindly disposed and caring toward everybody with an equal spread of loving feelings and acceptance in all situations and relationships.

How to do it . . .

To practice loving-kindness meditation, sit in a comfortable and relaxed manner. Take two or three deep breaths with slow, long and complete exhalations. Let go of any concerns or preoccupations. For a few minutes, feel or imagine the breath moving through the center of your chest - in the area of your heart. (If resistance is experienced then it indicates that feelings of unworthiness are present. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practice itself is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Then you are ready to systematically develop loving-kindness towards others.) 

Metta is first practiced toward oneself, since we often have difficulty loving others without first loving ourselves. Sitting quietly, mentally repeat, slowly and steadily, the following or similar phrases: May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease. While you say these phrases, allow yourself to sink into the intentions they express. 

Loving-kindness meditation consists primarily of connecting to the intention of wishing ourselves or others happiness. However, if feelings of warmth, friendliness, or love arise in the body or mind, connect to them, allowing them to grow as you repeat the phrases. As an aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your mind's eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the phrases. 

After a period of directing loving-kindness toward yourself, bring to mind a friend or someone in your life who has deeply cared for you. Then slowly repeat phrases of loving-kindness toward them: May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. As you say these phrases, again sink into their intention or heartfelt meaning. And, if any feelings of loving-kindness arise, connect the feelings with the phrases so that the feelings may become stronger as you repeat the words. As you continue the meditation, you can bring to mind other friends, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, animals, and finally people with whom you have difficulty.

You can either use the same phrases, repeating them again and again, or make up phrases that better represent the loving-kindness you feel toward these beings. 

Sometimes during loving-kindness meditation, seemingly opposite feelings such as anger, grief, or sadness may arise. Take these to be signs that your heart is softening, revealing what is held there. You can either shift to mindfulness practice or you can—with whatever patience, acceptance, and kindness you can muster for such feelings—direct loving-kindness toward them. Above all, remember that there is no need to judge yourself for having these feelings.

The visualisations, reflections and the repetition of loving-kindness are devices to help you arouse positive feelings of loving-kindness. You can use all of them or one that works best for you. When the positive feeling arise, switch from the devices to the feeling, as it is the feeling that is the primary focus. 

Keep the mind fixed on the feeling, if it strays bring it back to the device, or if the feelings weaken or are lost then return to the device, i.e. use the visualisation to bring back or strengthen the feeling.

Loving-kindness is a heart meditation and should not to be seen as just a formal sitting practice removed from everyday life. So take your good vibes outside into the streets, at home, at work and into your relationships. Applying the practice to daily life is a matter of directing a friendly attitude and having openness toward everybody you relate to, without discrimination.

There are as many different ways of doing it as there are levels of intensity in the practice. This introduction is intended to help you familiarize yourself with the basic technique, so that you can become established in the practice before going on, if you wish, to the deeper, systematic practice - to the level of meditative absorption.

5 Emotional Intelligent Tips to Win Customers

I know that several of you run your own businesses, are sales people or are in customer service. This article on emotional intelligence and customer emotions is for you.

• How much emotional awareness do you have of your own and customers' emotions?
• How good are you at managing customer emotions and providing a great customer experience?
• How well do you manage your own emotions and display high levels of emotional intelligence when handling customers?

Your emotional intelligence skills in these areas (or lack of them), could mean the difference between being successful in business and going under.

This whole article was prompted when I spoke to a business group recently and found some shop owners blaming their downturn in business on on-line shopping. I suggested they add an on-line shop to their businesses but they didn't like that idea. (That, to me, was like insisting on still selling fax machines even though we have moved to emails and social media.)

The next day I went into another business to browse and buy some new dresses, but instead of the owner selling me something, she too complained about on-line shoppers. This was a demonstration of low emotional intelligence. - Why be negative to customers? My emotions shifted and she lost sales. I left her shop without buying anything.

There is increasing research that shows conclusively that sales people, customer care services, entrepreneurs with higher levels of emotional intelligence make more money. I know this from personal experience too. If you are involved in retail or any form of customer service you need emotional intelligence in a number of significant areas.

Here are 5 emotional intelligent tips to help you with your customers:

1 - YOUR EMOTIONS INFLUENCE CUSTOMERS:

Your emotions influence the customer experience. When the owner of the shop started complaining how bad retail was and that people buying over the Internet were killing her business, I asked myself, "- Was the internet killing her trade?" Noooo! Her inability to give me a positive and pleasant customer experience was. She had real live customers in her shop and failed to get me to part with the money in my wallet. I was a buyer. It was her negative emotions about the Internet that stopped me from buying, not the Internet.

What type of customer experience do you give your customers and the people you serve?

If you don't take care of your emotions so that you can care positively for the customers you do have and give them a reason to shop with you, why wouldn't they buy on the Internet?

There are no grumpy customer service operators to deal with on the Internet. Manage your own emotions and make sure you are providing your customers with a wonderful customer experience so they want to shop or be served by you. Managing your own emotions intelligently is one of the many skills of emotional intelligence that can help your business.

2 - BE AWARE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS' EMOTIONS:

Instead of trying a hard sell, or worrying about a drop in consumer confidence, pay attention to how your customers are feeling. The emotions of your customers matter. Being aware of others' emotions is another important emotional intelligence skill that can help your business or sales.

• Are you aware of the emotions generated by the customer experience you provide?
• Do you consider your customers' emotions?
• Do you facilitate positive emotions in your customers?
• Do your customers leave feeling proud of their purchase? Delighted with your service? Happy to have found you?
• Do your customers feel important, cared for, looked after, understood, fascinated, engaged, appreciated, valued, thrilled, ecstatic or some other similar pleasant emotion? Or, do they feel ignored, put down, negative, in the way, troubled, confused, unwanted, unhappy, let down, disappointed, frustrated, irritated, misunderstood, unimportant, insignificant or slighted?  

The emotions your customers are feeling can relate to specific purchases.

3 - INFLUENCE YOUR CUSTOMERS:

Develop awareness of your customers' emotions. It is the emotions of your customers that influence whether they buy from you or not. Don't just think it's only about price; it isn't. Are your levels of emotional intelligence high enough so you can read the emotions of your customers?

• Are they feeling uncomfortable with the item they are considering?
• Do they have anxiety about whether they are making the right choice?
• Do they seem happy with one item more than another? Does their level of excitement or interest increase when you mention particular features or benefits?
• Does their emotional energy drop when looking at a particular item, size or colour? By paying attention to and managing your customers' emotions you will have more chance of higher sales.

Once you are aware of your customers' emotions you have the option to manage them and to adjust what you are saying, doing or displaying to accommodate them. For example: If your customer is anxious, you might acknowledge this, or provide reassurance so that they settle. If he or she is excited about a particular item you might encourage them to talk about where they'd use it or wear it, (as appropriate). If he or she is concerned that an item won't match one he or she already has, you can help them to check the colour match so they become confident that it will work.

• Do you underestimate the importance of managing customers' emotions in your business?
• Or is your emotional intelligence high enough so you manage them positively and boost your income.

4 - MAKE CUSTOMERS FEEL IMPORTANT:

What goal do you aim for in regards to the customer experience you provide? Do you ensure it is one that will enhance your sales and leave people satisfied with your service and wanting to return?

A friend was recently complaining about a large department store in a major city. It was the same department store that recently had been in the media complaining about a drop in sales and consumer confidence. My friend was very frustrated. She said there appeared to be no one interested in serving customers. She left feeling insignificant, unwanted and ignored.

This is not a positive customer experience. None of these customer emotions were likely to lead to sales. Instead, help your customers to feel important. No, not by putting a message on your voice mail saying, "Your call is important to us", but by sharing a genuine interest in the person, by having enthusiasm for serving customers, and by connecting with their interests. Do you have the emotional intelligence skills to help your customers feel important?

5 - CHANGE YOUR EMOTIONS:

I understand that customer emotions are not necessarily easy to manage. We've all experienced difficult, angry or complaining customers. They are not necessarily easy to win over or turn around, but by applying high levels of emotional intelligence it could be possible. What may be even easier is to ensure the neutral or slightly positive customer turns into a very happy customer with a delightful customer experience.

• Can you help them enjoy their interactions with you?
• Can you make coming to your shop, surgery or service centre an enjoyable experience?

Even simple things, such as how you greet people, what you talk about and how willing you are to connect with them and show an interest in them could make a difference. Providing them with extra treats, value, drinks or other aspects of a caring customer experience can all help differentiate your business from others and have people returning. Being really helpful can also be valuable. Differentiate yourself from the competition. Stand out. Make the customer experience a pleasant and engaging one. If your competition is on-line sales, then do the things that a website cannot do: manage customers' emotions.

The importance of emotional intelligence and managing customer emotions should not be underestimated in business, sales or customer service.

#customerservice #customerretention #emotionalintelligence

About the Author:Emília M. Ludovino, is the founder of the Ki Flow – Emotional Intelligence Training, entrepreneur, business owner, Team Manager, Certified Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Motivational Coach, Master Practitioner of NLP, Reiki Master/Teacher, a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation and Expert Lawyer in Business Investment in Africa and South America. (and YES! I still have a normal life!). 
Worked since the age of 20 building and managing teams in Africa, South America and Europe, mainly in NGOs, United Nations, Politicians and Community Leaders, Law Enforcement, Law Firms and Top Executive Managers (Communications, Marketing, IT, Pharmaceutical, Private Banking, etc.) and sport teams.

Brené Brown on Blame

A MUST SEE .... #Blame, #Self-Esteem, #Self-Love, #EmotionalIntelligence

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN STAKEHOLDERS’ ENGAGEMENT

Emotional intelligence for leaders covers many different skill sets and can be applied in varying situations. Stakeholder engagement is a key one.

This is the first in a three part series on the applications of emotional intelligence in engaging stakeholders. This article will address the importance of stakeholder emotions and why it is worth attending to them. The second article examines - How to prepare emotional profiles on stakeholders prior to meeting them so that you can predict how they may respond and be ready to handle any objections from the beginning. The third explains how to use this data to successfully - Convince a stakeholder of your position.

The more you are aware of and, understand stakeholder emotions, the greater influence you can have. Of course, your ability to do this will be influenced by your own levels of emotional intelligence, and how capable you are of managing their emotions once you are aware of them.

Which Emotional Intelligence Skills Do Leaders Need For a successful Stakeholders´  Engagement?

1. "Emotional awareness of others" - Accurately read the stakeholders' emotions, in advance, of meetings. 
2. "Managing others' emotions" - Effectively manage the stakeholders' emotions, during, the meetings.

Why stakeholders' emotions are important? The easiest way to answer this question is to remember that emotions run behaviours whether we’re aware of them or not, therefore, emotions run business more than facts and numbers. My experience in working with Project Managers, Senior Business Managers and executive teams is that, they approach their stakeholders with information, folders full of  documents and facts and numbers. And information only. Then when the stakeholders disagree or argue about some of the facts, figures or proposals they counter this with further facts, figures or theories. There seems to be a belief that information on its own will convince people that their plans, proposals or information should be adopted. There is a fundamental flaw in the logic here. The flaw is that people, including key stakeholders, do not make decisions on facts alone. Emotions drive behaviours, whether you are aware of them or not.

WHAT INFLUENCES STAKEHOLDERS? Their behaviour and discussions are also influenced by HOW THEY:

• Feel about the facts.
• Feel about the organisation and their history with the organisation.
• Feel about the person or team making the proposal
• Feel about the project.
• Feel about the costs involved.
• Feel about the pressures and demands being placed upon them by their own senior people and stakeholder
• Feel within themselves that day.
• Feel about themselves and their level of influence and competency, (e.g. may feel insecure, undervalued, threatened, anxious, important, secure or confident).
• Feel about other people's reactions to the proposal.
• Feel about the results that they perceive will occur from agreeing or disagreeing.
• Feel about the likely success of the project.
• Feel about their present workload.

And so on. This is why emotional intelligence also matters. Many emotions and, sometimes, conflicting emotions, are involved. These are not necessarily on the surface or owned, but they are present nevertheless. Research at the University of New South Wales, clearly demonstrates that: (1)Affect and cognition are not separate - thought and emotion are intertwined (2)Feelings have a multifaceted influence on everything that we think or do. (3)Mood affects memory and critical thinking.

When a stakeholder meeting results in disagreements and, emotions are ignored, then much time can be wasted on loading up discussions with more and more information without any headway being gained. This is neither emotionally intelligent nor a valuable application of IQ.

• Conflicts can become protracted
• Situations can become hostile
• Frustration can develop
• Projects can be delayed
• Approvals can be refused.

Why then wouldn’t you also factor emotional information into the decisions you make about  - how to approach, discuss and convince your stakeholders to adopt your plans, proposals or ideas? When you have low emotional intelligence you are likely to fail to pay attention to the emotional data that is influencing your stakeholders. If you ignore this kind of emotional information about your stakeholders when you are negotiating with them, you may:

• Fail to deliver projects on time, within budget or to specification.
• Get embroiled in unnecessary conflicts and arguments that leave a nasty after-taste and have a negative impact on long-term relationships.
• Fail to convince stakeholders of a good idea, with the result that other less appropriate ideas are adopted. This can result in a loss of income, a failure to win contracts, or a poorer outcome for the recipients of the final project.
• Misunderstand the reasons behind a stakeholder's non-compliance or attitude.

I have heard stakeholders who disagree, being described in a dismissive way as "difficult" "obstructionist" or "stupid". This is not a display of high emotional intelligence. These kind of judgements can be made at times of exasperation or frustration when a stakeholder refuses to agree with your plans. However, it doesn't mean such judgements are true, it's just that when you are frustrated and feel as though you are banging your head against a brick wall you resort to this response: blaming and name calling. Instead of doing this, if you looked beneath the surface to the underlying emotions, you might find the real cause of the behaviour. This is the value of emotional intelligence.

If you then worked with these emotions then you may also find that your priorities move along more easily and smoothly. This is why emotional intelligence in leaders can affect the outcomes of stakeholder meetings and relationships.

Would you like to learn how to emotional profile your stakeholders and prepare, in advance, for the next meeting? (click here). 

Second Article: HOW TO GAUGE YOUR STAKEHOLDERS' EMOTIONAL DRIVERS AND MOTIVATIONS - part 2/3

#emotionalintelligence #stakeholders #engagement  #success #leadership #management

If you liked this article you can always follow us on Twitter @ki_flow, Blogwww.ki-flow.com or Facebook .

About the Author:
Emília M. Ludovino, is the founder of the Emotional Intelligence Training – Ki Flow, Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach, Motivational Coach, Master Practitioner of NLP, Reiki Master/Teacher, a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation and International Business Lawyer. Worked since the age of 20 building and managing teams in Africa, South America and Europe, mainly in NGOs, United Nations, training Politicians and Community Leaders, Empowering Entrepreneurs Law Enforcement, Law Firms and Top Executive Managers (Communications, Marketing, IT, Pharmaceutical, Private Banking, etc.).

HOW TO STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY WORK

"Stress" is an emotion. "Feeling pressured", "feeling overwhelmed", and "feeling tense" are all emotions too.

Handling a high workload can be a very emotionally charged experience requiring high levels of emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.

Low levels of emotional intelligence can contribute to making workplaces more stressful than they need to be.In contrast, having high emotional intelligence skills can help individuals and groups cope with the pressure and stress of a busy, tense and demanding workplace, the pressure of multiple responsibilities, and the conflicting demands of high workloads.

This article will examine how we can be very busy and handle all our many responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed, and while staying content, productive and emotionally healthy.

HERE ARE SOME EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TIPS ON HOW TO STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY A HIGH WORKLOAD.

1 -  SORT THE DEMANDS INTO AREAS: Stress and feeling overwhelmed can occur when we feel stretched across too many different activities, responsibilities and tasks. By separating the demands into different areas it may reduce the feelings of overwhelm. For example, much of my life has been very full. What I have found really useful in managing this is to allocate the load into different areas that I can manage separately. I find this stops me from getting overwhelmed by how much there is to do, as I can move from one section to another instead of seeing it all in one overwhelming mass.

For example, here are the four sections I moved between at one stage of my life:

• Running a full time business.
• Being a voluntary CEO of a large not-for-profit organisation.
• My family responsibilities.
• Teaching.

When I saw my workload whittled down into these four areas of responsibilities, they didn't overwhelm me. It also kept me focussed and on track. In contrast, if I don't have these groups, I end up looking at one big, incredibly long to-do list and freak out. I still separate my areas. I presently have my four main work areas, and a fifth minor one, written out and stuck on my computer to remind me.

What are the different areas of your life - can you split them up to make it seem more manageable? It is an essential emotional intelligence skill. Separating out demands helps many people to manage their emotions.

2 - DO THE PRIORITIES IN EACH AREA: Once you have your separate areas of work or responsibilities identified, your next step is to be able to identify your priority task in each one and do only the priorities.

Each day I identify the number one priority in each area and do that. I try to do the priorities first before any unimportant nice-to-do things. Although these nice-to-do things can be pleasant they don't help manage my workload. Doing the priorities stops the stress from building up.

I remember the days I used to do the nice, small things first and then feel enormous pressure as I still had the priorities to tend to. Hopefully those days are over and I now have higher levels of emotional intelligence.

Do you attend to your priorities? Are you doing your priorities? Do you even stop to ask yourself what they are? Knowing your priorities is being emotionally intelligent.

3 - CHANGE PRIORITIES AT ANY MOMENT: Be prepared to change priorities at any moment. Be flexible, your priorities are not set in concrete. It is impossible to always know in advance what the priorities are. I therefore decide what they are each day, (or even each hour).

• First I decide which of the four sections is the key priority for that day.
• Then I decide what the priority is in that section.
• Then I do it.

Once done I check out and move on to one of the other three sections. This can be fun - a bit like playing hop-scotch! However, the priorities can change at any moment. For example, you may find one of your children suddenly gets admitted to hospital and all priorities are altered. Or, an urgent request comes from your boss and you switch to that. Or, you find the media ran a negative story on your business that morning. This is how life is.

• Be prepared to change priorities at any moment.
• A willingness to re-evaluate very often is vital.
• Rigidity only builds stress.

How flexible are you? Are you clinging to your plan? Be prepared to change priorities at any moment. This is emotional intelligence in action.

4 - BE ACTIVE IN STAYING HEALTHY: Being healthy is so important in managing a busy life and responsibilities. It is so much harder if you have a headache or flu or backache to avoid becoming stressed. So take care of yourself: your children deserve it, your colleagues need it and you will be happier because of it.

Do what you need to cultivate your health. The busier you are the more important it is that you eat healthy food - no junk - all good food.

The busier you are the more determined you must be to fit in exercise too.

Also the harder you work the more you must clear your mind of the junk and stress.

For example, I make sure that I nearly always put time aside for meditation each day. When I meditate my stress levels diminish and my energy levels rise. I work more productively when I meditate and do it with a greater sense of calm and enjoyment. I have more quality in my life when I meditate. If I don't meditate the stress builds. It is hardly a waste of time then, is it?

Are you determined enough to invest in your own health? Desiring work-life balance requires you to take care of your body, mind and spirit. Are you taking enough care of your health? Emotional intelligence can be applied to all areas of your life. Just because you feel tired and can't be bothered to exercise doesn't mean you don't do it.

5 -  INCLINE TOWARDS POSITIVITY: Incline your mind towards gratitude and positivity. Negative emotions, such as resentment, frustration and anger only add to stress - they do not help reduce it.

Ditch negativity, complaining and anger; they simply increase the stress load. Instead, on a daily basis and in all that you do, train yourself to incline towards positivity and gratitude.

For example, one night I was having to work for the government - not through choice but because the government requires all businesses, big or small, to do lots of administration for tax purposes. It was getting late and I was still slogging through it. Given it was the last day of the tax year it had to be the priority that day.

I heard myself starting to mutter about stupid red tape and complaining about tax policies and how unfair they were on small business. Then I stopped.

Why was I doing that? My complaining was going to make no difference to whether I had to do it or not. The government wasn't going to alter the taxation rules or regulations just because I complained about them. So why get negative? All it was doing was making myself agitated and more stressed. My complaining was hurting me and my Assistant as he was nearby. Do not feed your feelings of being overwhelmed by more negative feelings. It is hardly emotionally intelligent, is it?

I laughed and appreciated that at least my business was still going strong, and I was sitting in front of a lovely log fire on a very cold night.

Even doing the tax can be a lovely thing if you let it and incline towards gratitude.

Do not feed your feelings of being overwhelmed by more negative feelings. It is typical of low emotional intelligence.

Do you incline your mind towards gratitude? It could make it much easier to manage your responsibilities, and it's a beneficial way to develop your emotional intelligence.

Thank you for taking your time to read my work. 

Trust that add value to you.

About the Author:

Emília M. Ludovino, is an international Social & Emotional Intelligence Trainer, Performance Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Reiki Master/Teacher, founder of the Ki Flow - Emotional Intelligence Training and The Emotional Intelligence Project, social entrepreneur and a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation. She holds a LLM Master in International Law from Lisbon’s Law School and a degree in Psychology from School of Applied Psychology, from Lisbon.