5 Emotional Intelligent Tips to Win Customers

I know that several of you run your own businesses, are sales people or are in customer service. This article on emotional intelligence and customer emotions is for you.

• How much emotional awareness do you have of your own and customers' emotions?
• How good are you at managing customer emotions and providing a great customer experience?
• How well do you manage your own emotions and display high levels of emotional intelligence when handling customers?

Your emotional intelligence skills in these areas (or lack of them), could mean the difference between being successful in business and going under.

This whole article was prompted when I spoke to a business group recently and found some shop owners blaming their downturn in business on on-line shopping. I suggested they add an on-line shop to their businesses but they didn't like that idea. (That, to me, was like insisting on still selling fax machines even though we have moved to emails and social media.)

The next day I went into another business to browse and buy some new dresses, but instead of the owner selling me something, she too complained about on-line shoppers. This was a demonstration of low emotional intelligence. - Why be negative to customers? My emotions shifted and she lost sales. I left her shop without buying anything.

There is increasing research that shows conclusively that sales people, customer care services, entrepreneurs with higher levels of emotional intelligence make more money. I know this from personal experience too. If you are involved in retail or any form of customer service you need emotional intelligence in a number of significant areas.

Here are 5 emotional intelligent tips to help you with your customers:

1 - YOUR EMOTIONS INFLUENCE CUSTOMERS:

Your emotions influence the customer experience. When the owner of the shop started complaining how bad retail was and that people buying over the Internet were killing her business, I asked myself, "- Was the internet killing her trade?" Noooo! Her inability to give me a positive and pleasant customer experience was. She had real live customers in her shop and failed to get me to part with the money in my wallet. I was a buyer. It was her negative emotions about the Internet that stopped me from buying, not the Internet.

What type of customer experience do you give your customers and the people you serve?

If you don't take care of your emotions so that you can care positively for the customers you do have and give them a reason to shop with you, why wouldn't they buy on the Internet?

There are no grumpy customer service operators to deal with on the Internet. Manage your own emotions and make sure you are providing your customers with a wonderful customer experience so they want to shop or be served by you. Managing your own emotions intelligently is one of the many skills of emotional intelligence that can help your business.

2 - BE AWARE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS' EMOTIONS:

Instead of trying a hard sell, or worrying about a drop in consumer confidence, pay attention to how your customers are feeling. The emotions of your customers matter. Being aware of others' emotions is another important emotional intelligence skill that can help your business or sales.

• Are you aware of the emotions generated by the customer experience you provide?
• Do you consider your customers' emotions?
• Do you facilitate positive emotions in your customers?
• Do your customers leave feeling proud of their purchase? Delighted with your service? Happy to have found you?
• Do your customers feel important, cared for, looked after, understood, fascinated, engaged, appreciated, valued, thrilled, ecstatic or some other similar pleasant emotion? Or, do they feel ignored, put down, negative, in the way, troubled, confused, unwanted, unhappy, let down, disappointed, frustrated, irritated, misunderstood, unimportant, insignificant or slighted?  

The emotions your customers are feeling can relate to specific purchases.

3 - INFLUENCE YOUR CUSTOMERS:

Develop awareness of your customers' emotions. It is the emotions of your customers that influence whether they buy from you or not. Don't just think it's only about price; it isn't. Are your levels of emotional intelligence high enough so you can read the emotions of your customers?

• Are they feeling uncomfortable with the item they are considering?
• Do they have anxiety about whether they are making the right choice?
• Do they seem happy with one item more than another? Does their level of excitement or interest increase when you mention particular features or benefits?
• Does their emotional energy drop when looking at a particular item, size or colour? By paying attention to and managing your customers' emotions you will have more chance of higher sales.

Once you are aware of your customers' emotions you have the option to manage them and to adjust what you are saying, doing or displaying to accommodate them. For example: If your customer is anxious, you might acknowledge this, or provide reassurance so that they settle. If he or she is excited about a particular item you might encourage them to talk about where they'd use it or wear it, (as appropriate). If he or she is concerned that an item won't match one he or she already has, you can help them to check the colour match so they become confident that it will work.

• Do you underestimate the importance of managing customers' emotions in your business?
• Or is your emotional intelligence high enough so you manage them positively and boost your income.

4 - MAKE CUSTOMERS FEEL IMPORTANT:

What goal do you aim for in regards to the customer experience you provide? Do you ensure it is one that will enhance your sales and leave people satisfied with your service and wanting to return?

A friend was recently complaining about a large department store in a major city. It was the same department store that recently had been in the media complaining about a drop in sales and consumer confidence. My friend was very frustrated. She said there appeared to be no one interested in serving customers. She left feeling insignificant, unwanted and ignored.

This is not a positive customer experience. None of these customer emotions were likely to lead to sales. Instead, help your customers to feel important. No, not by putting a message on your voice mail saying, "Your call is important to us", but by sharing a genuine interest in the person, by having enthusiasm for serving customers, and by connecting with their interests. Do you have the emotional intelligence skills to help your customers feel important?

5 - CHANGE YOUR EMOTIONS:

I understand that customer emotions are not necessarily easy to manage. We've all experienced difficult, angry or complaining customers. They are not necessarily easy to win over or turn around, but by applying high levels of emotional intelligence it could be possible. What may be even easier is to ensure the neutral or slightly positive customer turns into a very happy customer with a delightful customer experience.

• Can you help them enjoy their interactions with you?
• Can you make coming to your shop, surgery or service centre an enjoyable experience?

Even simple things, such as how you greet people, what you talk about and how willing you are to connect with them and show an interest in them could make a difference. Providing them with extra treats, value, drinks or other aspects of a caring customer experience can all help differentiate your business from others and have people returning. Being really helpful can also be valuable. Differentiate yourself from the competition. Stand out. Make the customer experience a pleasant and engaging one. If your competition is on-line sales, then do the things that a website cannot do: manage customers' emotions.

The importance of emotional intelligence and managing customer emotions should not be underestimated in business, sales or customer service.

#customerservice #customerretention #emotionalintelligence

About the Author:Emília M. Ludovino, is the founder of the Ki Flow – Emotional Intelligence Training, entrepreneur, business owner, Team Manager, Certified Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Motivational Coach, Master Practitioner of NLP, Reiki Master/Teacher, a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation and Expert Lawyer in Business Investment in Africa and South America. (and YES! I still have a normal life!). 
Worked since the age of 20 building and managing teams in Africa, South America and Europe, mainly in NGOs, United Nations, Politicians and Community Leaders, Law Enforcement, Law Firms and Top Executive Managers (Communications, Marketing, IT, Pharmaceutical, Private Banking, etc.) and sport teams.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN STAKEHOLDERS’ ENGAGEMENT

Emotional intelligence for leaders covers many different skill sets and can be applied in varying situations. Stakeholder engagement is a key one.

This is the first in a three part series on the applications of emotional intelligence in engaging stakeholders. This article will address the importance of stakeholder emotions and why it is worth attending to them. The second article examines - How to prepare emotional profiles on stakeholders prior to meeting them so that you can predict how they may respond and be ready to handle any objections from the beginning. The third explains how to use this data to successfully - Convince a stakeholder of your position.

The more you are aware of and, understand stakeholder emotions, the greater influence you can have. Of course, your ability to do this will be influenced by your own levels of emotional intelligence, and how capable you are of managing their emotions once you are aware of them.

Which Emotional Intelligence Skills Do Leaders Need For a successful Stakeholders´  Engagement?

1. "Emotional awareness of others" - Accurately read the stakeholders' emotions, in advance, of meetings. 
2. "Managing others' emotions" - Effectively manage the stakeholders' emotions, during, the meetings.

Why stakeholders' emotions are important? The easiest way to answer this question is to remember that emotions run behaviours whether we’re aware of them or not, therefore, emotions run business more than facts and numbers. My experience in working with Project Managers, Senior Business Managers and executive teams is that, they approach their stakeholders with information, folders full of  documents and facts and numbers. And information only. Then when the stakeholders disagree or argue about some of the facts, figures or proposals they counter this with further facts, figures or theories. There seems to be a belief that information on its own will convince people that their plans, proposals or information should be adopted. There is a fundamental flaw in the logic here. The flaw is that people, including key stakeholders, do not make decisions on facts alone. Emotions drive behaviours, whether you are aware of them or not.

WHAT INFLUENCES STAKEHOLDERS? Their behaviour and discussions are also influenced by HOW THEY:

• Feel about the facts.
• Feel about the organisation and their history with the organisation.
• Feel about the person or team making the proposal
• Feel about the project.
• Feel about the costs involved.
• Feel about the pressures and demands being placed upon them by their own senior people and stakeholder
• Feel within themselves that day.
• Feel about themselves and their level of influence and competency, (e.g. may feel insecure, undervalued, threatened, anxious, important, secure or confident).
• Feel about other people's reactions to the proposal.
• Feel about the results that they perceive will occur from agreeing or disagreeing.
• Feel about the likely success of the project.
• Feel about their present workload.

And so on. This is why emotional intelligence also matters. Many emotions and, sometimes, conflicting emotions, are involved. These are not necessarily on the surface or owned, but they are present nevertheless. Research at the University of New South Wales, clearly demonstrates that: (1)Affect and cognition are not separate - thought and emotion are intertwined (2)Feelings have a multifaceted influence on everything that we think or do. (3)Mood affects memory and critical thinking.

When a stakeholder meeting results in disagreements and, emotions are ignored, then much time can be wasted on loading up discussions with more and more information without any headway being gained. This is neither emotionally intelligent nor a valuable application of IQ.

• Conflicts can become protracted
• Situations can become hostile
• Frustration can develop
• Projects can be delayed
• Approvals can be refused.

Why then wouldn’t you also factor emotional information into the decisions you make about  - how to approach, discuss and convince your stakeholders to adopt your plans, proposals or ideas? When you have low emotional intelligence you are likely to fail to pay attention to the emotional data that is influencing your stakeholders. If you ignore this kind of emotional information about your stakeholders when you are negotiating with them, you may:

• Fail to deliver projects on time, within budget or to specification.
• Get embroiled in unnecessary conflicts and arguments that leave a nasty after-taste and have a negative impact on long-term relationships.
• Fail to convince stakeholders of a good idea, with the result that other less appropriate ideas are adopted. This can result in a loss of income, a failure to win contracts, or a poorer outcome for the recipients of the final project.
• Misunderstand the reasons behind a stakeholder's non-compliance or attitude.

I have heard stakeholders who disagree, being described in a dismissive way as "difficult" "obstructionist" or "stupid". This is not a display of high emotional intelligence. These kind of judgements can be made at times of exasperation or frustration when a stakeholder refuses to agree with your plans. However, it doesn't mean such judgements are true, it's just that when you are frustrated and feel as though you are banging your head against a brick wall you resort to this response: blaming and name calling. Instead of doing this, if you looked beneath the surface to the underlying emotions, you might find the real cause of the behaviour. This is the value of emotional intelligence.

If you then worked with these emotions then you may also find that your priorities move along more easily and smoothly. This is why emotional intelligence in leaders can affect the outcomes of stakeholder meetings and relationships.

Would you like to learn how to emotional profile your stakeholders and prepare, in advance, for the next meeting? (click here). 

Second Article: HOW TO GAUGE YOUR STAKEHOLDERS' EMOTIONAL DRIVERS AND MOTIVATIONS - part 2/3

#emotionalintelligence #stakeholders #engagement  #success #leadership #management

If you liked this article you can always follow us on Twitter @ki_flow, Blogwww.ki-flow.com or Facebook .

About the Author:
Emília M. Ludovino, is the founder of the Emotional Intelligence Training – Ki Flow, Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach, Motivational Coach, Master Practitioner of NLP, Reiki Master/Teacher, a life-time practitioner of Mindfulness & Meditation and International Business Lawyer. Worked since the age of 20 building and managing teams in Africa, South America and Europe, mainly in NGOs, United Nations, training Politicians and Community Leaders, Empowering Entrepreneurs Law Enforcement, Law Firms and Top Executive Managers (Communications, Marketing, IT, Pharmaceutical, Private Banking, etc.).

How Emotional Intelligence helps build Resilience to Stress

Emotional intelligence is not about being soft and gooey, far from it. The ability to generate positive emotions in your working life is certainly an important part of it but so is emotional resilience and dealing with negative emotions. Emotional resilience is a significant emotional intelligence competency that comes under the banner of: emotional self-management.

Who needs emotional resilience? Emotional resilience is important for everyone in the workplace. The workplace is full of unexpected problems, negative outcomes, unrealistic deadlines, endless changes, a lack of resources, difficult people and volatile discussions. And that's just on a Monday! Your ability to stay healthy and productive through these ever changing scenes is vital. If you can do this you have emotional resilience and emotional intelligence.

What is emotional resilience? Emotional resilience has a number of key attributes.

I think of it as having a tough head and a warm heart at the same time. Out of its many features here are eight pivotal ones.

Emotional resilience is the ability to:

• Stay calm and clear headed when the pressure and stress around you is high. In other words you have the mental toughness to guard against being sucked in.
• Bounce back quickly after upsets, set-backs and bad moods or emotions. You don't get stuck in bitterness, anger or resentment.
• Look after yourself psychologically, spiritually and emotionally even when you are frantic. You don't neglect yourself whilst still being able to care for others. This takes mental discipline and an appreciation of what's important. Too often when people are no longer resilient and they become overwhelmed, tense or stressed, they stop looking after themselves and indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
• Keep a sense of humour. Losing your sense of humour and no longer laughing at issues you'd normally laugh at is one of the early warning signs of too much stress.
• Keep things in perspective, rather than letting emotions such as anger, exasperation or anxiety distort your world view, so you can judge situations fairly.
• Not take on board other people's problems, stupidity or emotions, whilst at the same time being able to be compassionate and care for others. This requires mental toughness and a warm heart.
• Stay physically well and strong with a healthy immune system even in times of emotional or physical difficulty. This may include whilst undergoing work problems, poor performance feedback or even grief.
• Being able to feel and express your emotions in ways that are safe, clear and healthy. Emotional resilience does not mean pushing your emotions down or away, or ignoring them altogether. It means acknowledging and managing them well. Your heart needs to stay open toward you, so you can care for yourself in even the worst case situation.

Emotional resilience is not:

• Blocking out your feelings with drugs.
• Saying to hell with you and to hell with everything.
• Ignoring everyone else and always putting yourself first.
• Being aggressive, verbally violent or looking for a fight.
• Not crying when someone you love dies.
• Pretending that everything is okay when it is not.
• Being too tough to tell someone you are proud of them, love them or appreciate them.

Emotional resilience is not just about being tough, as this is often based on the denial of emotions and physical and emotional needs. Emotional denial or suppression may be needed at specific times in order to survive when you're in the military or the police and witnessing traumatic events, but over time this may lead to health problems or post-traumatic stress. In contrast, emotional resilience is a healthy balance between a tough head and a warm heart, set in a context of emotional self-awareness. Emotional resilience is a healthy way of managing your life and your emotions, and staying well even in difficult circumstances.

How high is your emotional intelligence & emotional resilience?

Thank You for taking your time to read my blog. 

Please, if the information was useful for you, leave me your feedback on the comments below, and share it with others, as we never know when we are inspiring someone.

Take Care and Have a Blessed Day!

CAN WE DEVELOP OUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

In a blog in June 2012, Daniel Goleman, the man who brought Mayer and Salovey's work on emotional intelligence into public prominence, was asked whether we could enhance our emotional intelligence. Specifically he was asked the following question:  - You explain that emotional intelligence has four parts: self-awareness, managing emotions, empathy and social skills. Is it possible to enhance them, with practice or training?

I found his answer interesting and would like to give a more comprehensive answer, as well as a shorter answer. What Daniel Goleman replied was this: " - Emotional intelligence competencies are learned – and can be improved at any point in life. But first you have to be motivated – ask yourself if you really care. Then you need a well-structured learning situation where, for instance, you have a clear picture of what you want to improve, and can practise specific behaviors that will help you enhance the targeted competence."

What do I make of this? - Well it depends.

What does it depend on? - How much of your innate emotional intelligence you are already using to the maximum and how much is still lying untrained and dormant. It isn't only about how motivated you are. If emotional intelligence is an intelligence, it isn't something that we can all becoming shining stars in, no more than we can all develop an IQ of 150 or more. There is a bell curve distribution for emotional intelligence in the same way that there is for IQ.

What this means is that most of us will have average amounts of emotional intelligence, because that is what average means! Also, some of us will have lower levels of emotional intelligence, and some of us will have higher levels.

CAN YOU DEVELOP YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE? In answer to what Daniel Goleman has said I would say an emphatic, yes! We can develop more emotional intelligence skills, definitely, well most of us anyway! The reason I say this is that the analogy between IQ and EI does not apply to the whole consideration of the question.

There is at least one big difference between IQ and EI that matters here. The difference is this.

Our IQ is the focus of thousands and thousands of hours of training in our education system. As we grow up we are taught how to use and develop our IQ skills. We are given activity after activity, lesson after lesson, and exam after exam, in its development and application. We are taught to read and write, to recite the alphabet, to learn the rules of mathematics, to measure and collect facts. Indeed, we are exposed to an ongoing training to make the most of our innate IQ. For most of us, this continues throughout our childhoods and into young adulthood, and even beyond.

This is not the case for emotional intelligence and EQ. For the vast majority of us, we got very little training or assistance in developing our innate emotional intelligence.

When we were reciting the two times table, or being marked for our knowledge of history and geography, or being trained how to write, were we also reciting an extensive vocabulary of feeling words, or being marked on our knowledge of how two emotions relate to each other, or being trained for hours in emotional recognition?

It is highly unlikely. If your schooling did focus upon aspects of emotional intelligence it still would not have been anywhere near to the same extent as IQ. Think how many hours you spent learning to read. The time spent learning emotional literacy would nowhere near have involved the same number of hours, would it? Did you even spend ten hours doing that? 

CAN YOU DEVELOP YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO ITS MAXIMUM? How does this bear any relation to what Daniel Goleman says? It is good news. It means that you are highly unlikely to have developed your emotional intelligence to its maximum potential. There is hardly anyone who has who has gone through this kind of schooling. Thus, you have every chance of being able to benefit from work to develop it.

So Daniel Goleman is right, (and I do not always agree with Goleman's take on emotional intelligence). In a well-structured learning situation where you have a clearly defined goal of what you want to improve, and can practise specific behaviors realted to it, you should be able to further develop your skills related to emotional intelligence.

There is mounting research evidence to back this up in Australia. Studies have been conducted with groups in the workplace. Some have been put through an emotional intelligence training programme and others haven't. Pre and post tests have then been done and significant differences in performance have been found between the start and finish of the programmes, and between the trained and untrained groups.

I have also seen my own clients show demonstrable improvements in skills following coaching and training. People, who for instance, may have found it hard to control their emotions when dealing with difficult customers have been able to learn how to keep their cool and stay calm and composed.

I have also personal experience in witnessing my own emotional intelligence development.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO DEVELOP MY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE? A word of warning. Emotional intelligence is not "one thing". It is an intelligence involving a wide and comprehensive set of skills. You don't just do one exercise to develop your emotional intelligence skills, you have to work on specific skill sets, and specific tasks, in specific areas, to reach specific goals.

EI is like IQ in this regard, there isn't one set of skills to learn to develop and use your IQ, and you don't do it in a day or a week. The same can be said for emotional intelligence. It is a journey of a lifetime, but you can take a step each day to develop your emotional intelligence skills. I have seen people take significant strides in developing their emotional intelligence in specific areas after attending just a one or two day course. How exciting is that!

A good starting place for many of my clients has been in developing their emotional self-awareness and emotional self-management, and this may help you too, but that's another article. For now, let me finish with a quote, by the master himself, Dr John (Jack) Mayer, from his article in the book "Emotional What?" 2010.

When most people ask the question, what they may mean is “Is it possible for someone to increase his or her emotional knowledge?” and, perhaps, “Is it possible for someone to improve their social and emotional functioning?” In both cases, the answer is almost certainly yes.

In other words, if you want to design an EQ program for yourself or your team at work it's a good idea.