ISTJ - ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY "SHOW EMOTIONS"

Written by: Emília M. Ludovino, Emotional Intelligence Trainer

Category: Emotional Intelligence, MBTI, ISTJ

IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ISTJs

Emotional intelligence and personality are not the same thing. However, as different types of people react differently to their own and other people's emotions there is much to be learnt from discussing these together.

I have used the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI - 16 personality types) for some time and find the classifications of personality very valuable.

Although not all people of the same type will have the same levels of emotional intelligence they may find some aspects of emotional intelligence easier to develop than others, may use their emotional intelligence in different ways, and may benefit from focusing on different applications of EQ at work.

Also, I am certain that some types will be more interested in emotional intelligence than others! However, if some people are not interested in their Ei at work, the people with whom they work and interact probably are, as it impacts directly on them.

This is one of a series of articles on personality and emotional intelligence, and will look at how one type, the ISTJ, can enhance their Ei at work. The article examines:

• The emotions that may typically arise in an ISTJ in particular situations.
• Ways that an ISTJ may manage these emotions.
• Communication methods they may adopt that suit their type.

The I stands for Introversion, S for Sensing, T for Thinking and J for Judging.

Here are 5 ways an ISTJ can use his/her EI at work and get the best out of being an ISTJ.

1 - ASK FOR DETAILS: ISTJs work best with details, in a step-by-step linear sequence. ISTJs know that there are right and wrong ways to do many things, such as speak grammatical English or correct ways to signal on roundabouts. They are likely to become irritated at people who get it wrong.

While INTPs analyse, ISTJs are evaluating correctness of procedure in other people's actions. ISTJs correct other people's imperfections, they proof read and mentally correct everything. Of course being a sensate means they notice details that the iNtuitive may miss.

If details are missing they can feel frustrated, stressed or paralysed. If they are not given the details they require, for instance by an iNtuitive boss, they may be unable to comprehend what they are being instructed to do. One ISTJ explained to me that if this happens they can feel that the boss is inadequate or stupid for not understanding the needs of the person he/she is instructing.

If you are an ISTJ in this situation, one simple way to overcome the lack of details is to ask questions until you get them. This can require confidence as you won't want to seem stupid in front of your senior people, but it will mean you will be able to do your job, and this in turn will help you shift your emotions into a more positive status.

One aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to be able to move through unhelpful emotions to more helpful ones. Dwelling in resentment at the boss who hasn't given you the level of instruction you need may not help you, whereas deliberately requesting more details may.

One word of caution though, some iNtuitives may not be able to give you the exact details you need in the linear way you may prefer, so meeting them with this insight may help you avoid too much self-blame or implicit criticism of the boss.

Knowledge of the types can help people manage their emotions and understand their own emotional reactions. Self-awareness is a crucial element of emotional intelligence and very helpful at work.

2 - WORK IN PEACE AND QUIET: Noise, constant interruptions or people talking while they're trying to think, can all reduce the productivity of ISTJs and leave them feeling frustrated, annoyed or agitated. They are typical of many Introverts in this regard. If ISTJs can't concentrate on their jobs and hear themselves think, their productivity diminishes and their tension and stress increase.

If you are an ISTJ and experiencing such frustration, consider altering your work environment so you have peace and quiet in some way or other.

I know one ISTJ who was put in a noisy open-plan office close to others who were talking on the phone and to each other. He became despondent because he couldn't focus on his work. ISTJs are known to be steadfast in completing tasks. When they can't do this it is stressful for them.

This ISTJ complained to the senior manager about the working conditions. He ended up accepting a run-down building to work in as he could have his own room. He is much more relaxed and enjoys his job again. As a consequence his work benefits as he is at his best and productive.

3 - KEEP THINGS THE SAME: Most ISTJs prefer their lives to be predictable and can feel unsettled when things change, especially if there seems to be no good reason for it. They may live by the motto:"If it ain't broke, don't fix it". They feel most content when things stay the same. This contrasts with some other types who may get bored if things don't keep changing.

In a world and a workplace that is subjected to constant change this can require an ISTJ to have considerable emotional intelligence skills to cope. One way to handle work, if you're an ISTJ, is to choose a job where you can build up experience and knowledge over a period of time.

I spoke to an ISTJ woman recently who said, "I like to stay in the same job because my satisfaction comes from building up my experience and knowledge. I haven't changed jobs for 15 years and I'm happy where I am". This is fairly typical of an ISTJ and in complete contrast to iNtuitive types who often get bored when things don't change.

4 - WATCH OUT FOR CATASTROPHISING: All types have what Carl Jung called an "Inferior Function" or shadow side to their personalities.

Your Inferior Function is the part of you that is the least well developed but under times of significant stress may take you over. At these times you may become more negative in some way; in what way is determined by your type. As an ISTJ your inferior function is extraverted iNtuition. This means you may become swamped by feelings about a negative future.

ISTJs under the stress of their inferior function can fall into "catastrophising". They imagine the worst happening. Their loved ones may be late home and they presume ambulances have taken them to hospital, when really they just stopped to chat to colleagues; they have a hard task to complete and are sure "It's going to kill them", when over time they master the skills required and do an excellent job; and so on.

Simply knowing this can help an ISTJ use his/her rational logic at this time. However, even more important for an ISTJ at work is to be able to sense when stress is mounting, before it becomes so strong that the Inferior takes over. They may not find emotional self-awareness easy though and this is an area that they could usefully pay more attention to and develop.

There are many different ways to develop more EI at work, and the priority aspects to focus on may vary for each type and each person. Having an emotional intelligence assessment will, of course, help establish the priorities for each person.

5 - GET TO KNOW YOUR TYPE: ISTJs can enjoy tasks and hobbies such as reading, although they may not naturally read self-help books, and are more likely to read technical manuals or scientific journals.

However, If you're an ISTJ, take the time to read about your type and to become more knowledgeable of who you are, how you react at work, and how you work best. ISTJs, like all types, have many strengths and gifts. Know what these are and develop them fully in yourself. What is your EI at work? How well are you managing your emotions?

Thank You for taking your time to read my blog. 

Please, if the information was useful for you, leave me your feedback on the comments below, and share it with others, as we never know when we are inspiring someone.

Take Care and Have a Blessed Day!

How Emotional Intelligence helps build Resilience to Stress

Emotional intelligence is not about being soft and gooey, far from it. The ability to generate positive emotions in your working life is certainly an important part of it but so is emotional resilience and dealing with negative emotions. Emotional resilience is a significant emotional intelligence competency that comes under the banner of: emotional self-management.

Who needs emotional resilience? Emotional resilience is important for everyone in the workplace. The workplace is full of unexpected problems, negative outcomes, unrealistic deadlines, endless changes, a lack of resources, difficult people and volatile discussions. And that's just on a Monday! Your ability to stay healthy and productive through these ever changing scenes is vital. If you can do this you have emotional resilience and emotional intelligence.

What is emotional resilience? Emotional resilience has a number of key attributes.

I think of it as having a tough head and a warm heart at the same time. Out of its many features here are eight pivotal ones.

Emotional resilience is the ability to:

• Stay calm and clear headed when the pressure and stress around you is high. In other words you have the mental toughness to guard against being sucked in.
• Bounce back quickly after upsets, set-backs and bad moods or emotions. You don't get stuck in bitterness, anger or resentment.
• Look after yourself psychologically, spiritually and emotionally even when you are frantic. You don't neglect yourself whilst still being able to care for others. This takes mental discipline and an appreciation of what's important. Too often when people are no longer resilient and they become overwhelmed, tense or stressed, they stop looking after themselves and indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
• Keep a sense of humour. Losing your sense of humour and no longer laughing at issues you'd normally laugh at is one of the early warning signs of too much stress.
• Keep things in perspective, rather than letting emotions such as anger, exasperation or anxiety distort your world view, so you can judge situations fairly.
• Not take on board other people's problems, stupidity or emotions, whilst at the same time being able to be compassionate and care for others. This requires mental toughness and a warm heart.
• Stay physically well and strong with a healthy immune system even in times of emotional or physical difficulty. This may include whilst undergoing work problems, poor performance feedback or even grief.
• Being able to feel and express your emotions in ways that are safe, clear and healthy. Emotional resilience does not mean pushing your emotions down or away, or ignoring them altogether. It means acknowledging and managing them well. Your heart needs to stay open toward you, so you can care for yourself in even the worst case situation.

Emotional resilience is not:

• Blocking out your feelings with drugs.
• Saying to hell with you and to hell with everything.
• Ignoring everyone else and always putting yourself first.
• Being aggressive, verbally violent or looking for a fight.
• Not crying when someone you love dies.
• Pretending that everything is okay when it is not.
• Being too tough to tell someone you are proud of them, love them or appreciate them.

Emotional resilience is not just about being tough, as this is often based on the denial of emotions and physical and emotional needs. Emotional denial or suppression may be needed at specific times in order to survive when you're in the military or the police and witnessing traumatic events, but over time this may lead to health problems or post-traumatic stress. In contrast, emotional resilience is a healthy balance between a tough head and a warm heart, set in a context of emotional self-awareness. Emotional resilience is a healthy way of managing your life and your emotions, and staying well even in difficult circumstances.

How high is your emotional intelligence & emotional resilience?

Thank You for taking your time to read my blog. 

Please, if the information was useful for you, leave me your feedback on the comments below, and share it with others, as we never know when we are inspiring someone.

Take Care and Have a Blessed Day!

10 SUCCESSFUL TIPS TO ACE A BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENT

Are you aware of how your emotions may hold you back when you attend a networking event or meet people at a breakfast, luncheon or dinner party?

Emotional self-awareness is an important aspect of emotional intelligence and business networking. For example, if you feel awkward, uncertain or inept you are less likely to put yourself forward and introduce yourself to strangers than if you feel confident, comfortable and relaxed about doing so, aren't you?

Emotions drive your and other people's behaviour  and your behaviour when business networking is no different. If we experience "negative emotions" when networking and we "give in" to them we can end up being involved in counter-productive behaviours. It is important to avoid some of the common mistakes people make when they go business networking and to be able to manage your own emotions so this doesn't happen to you. Yes, rev up your emotional intelligence before you step into a room!

10 NETWORKING BLUNDERS TO AVOID

 1 - Don't Sit With Your Colleagues: Networking is an opportunity for you to meet new people, don't waste it. If you come with a group from work, move. Leave them and sit on a different table. Meet them again later. Otherwise you might as well have stayed in the tea room at work.

If you feel more comfortable staying with your colleagues then manage this emotion so you can also feel comfortable about leaving them and catching up with them later. Look forward to talking to new people you may meet and what they might bring to the occasion. Or move and take one colleague with you. Don't just give in to the emotion, be emotionally intelligent.

2 - Don't Sit Down Early: If you are feeling at a bit of a loss, or at odds with the people present it can be easy to find a chair and sit down, to help yourself to feel better. Some people check out the toilets, the drinks and the food, and even the exit signs because they feel nervous about networking. The problem with this is that you then miss out on the networking opportunities.

It's easier to network and mingle standing up. Once you've sat down you may feel less inclined to move and it is harder for people to come to you and greet you. Instead, find a more useful way to relax and feel at ease with the situation. Yes, your skills in emotional management and emotional intelligence are very important here.

1.      Did put yourself in a positive emotion before arriving?
2.     Did you prepare topics to talk about?
3.     Can you find someone you know who is standing with a stranger?

Manage your emotions intelligently. Being able to shift into more "positive emotions" can be a very helpful emotional intelligence skill for networking.

3 - Don't Arrive Unprepared: If you feel shy, uncertain of what to talk about, or wary of meeting new people, prepare. Think in advance of topics you can talk about, how you can introduce yourself and what your latest news is. Don't just wait for someone to say, " - What have you been up to?" and expect to immediately remember, if you haven't thought about it before and you are feeling embarrassed. Make it easier for yourself, so you can still make conversation even if you do feel shy. Be prepared, avoid awkward silences, and you'll feel better. It's emotionally intelligent!

4 - Don't Give Short Answers: Don't answer questions with only 3-4 words. If you feel withdrawn, disinterested or guarded there is a likelihood that you will not say much. You don't have to give in to these emotions, manage them and say more.

If someone asks you " - What do you do?" or a similar question, appreciate that they are showing an interest in you and trying to engage you in conversation. Therefore, be generous in your reply. If you only say "Personal Assistant" or "Health Inspector",  you've just killed the conversation. Instead say more about what your job involves or move on to other things you like to do. Help yourself to feel comfortable and help the other person to feel comfortable talking to you. There are emotions on both sides for you to consider. Being able to manage other people's emotions is another aspect of emotional intelligence which is important when networking.

5 - Don't Only Talk Work: Boredom is a killer emotion at business networking events. One of the times boredom arises is when people only talk about work. You have worked all day and then you talk work all evening.

Even if you are at a business function you don't have to restrict yourself to only talking work. Networking is about building relationships. Therefore, conversations can explore what you might jointly be interested in outside work, or on providing assistance or information in any area of life. Do what you can to manage any boredom and be willing to explore interesting topics of conversation. It is better that you generate enthusiasm than boredom, isn't it? It is all about using your emotional intelligence skills.

6 - Don't Get Stuck In A Corner: Take up space, don't hide. Some networking functions don't use large rooms and may have only small spaces available, e.g. if it's at a restaurant. Make sure you aren't backed into a corner. It's much harder to escape and mingle. You won't want to feel trapped, will you?

7 - Don't Only Talk To Those You Know: If you feel relaxed with the people you know it is easy to stay with them and not venture out into the world of unknown people. However, networking is about meeting new people as well as building relationships with people you already know. Don't only limit yourself to meeting the people you already know. It is not emotionally intelligent. If there are new people at the function go and meet them. Get to know them. Help yourself to take the initiative, they may feel relieved to have someone new to talk to.

8 - Don't Forget Your Business Cards: Business cards aren't everything but they are important. I'm surprised how often I go to networking events and people haven't brought their cards or haven't given them out or haven't put them on a networking table. If there's a networking table make sure your cards are on it. If you feel silly giving out your card or dislike doing so, manage these emotions by thinking of the cards as lollies. You would probably feel good giving people prizes! Alternatively, consider how helpful your card will be for the other person. Many people at networking events forget people's names and feel stupid for doing so. By giving them your card you are making it easier for them to remember your name and who you are. When you can identify the benefits of giving your cards you may feel more confident in handing them out. Managing your emotions and using your emotional intelligence skills do matter when you're networking. Do what you can to feel confident, at ease and interested, and networking will be easier.

9 - Don't Stay On One Seat: Once you become comfortable on one place, or with one person, it is so easy to stay put. Move out of your comfort zone, manage your emotions so you overcome your apathy, and find the enthusiasm to move seats. Whether you're attending a breakfast, luncheon or dinner move seats. It's easy to do this between courses or as soon as the meal is over. That way you'll meet more people.

10 - Don't Exclude People: When you are networking be INCLUSIVE with everyone you meet. Don't cut people out of conversations in a group, don't ignore someone in a threesome, and don't turn your back on people during a dinner conversation. Always keep a look out for other people and be kind to them

There is so much more to learn about how to engage people, how to develop high levels of emotional intelligence, and how to be brilliant at business networking so you build your business. We have only scratched the surface here.

- Are you doing this when NETWORKING?

- Is your Networking Strategy like this?

Thank You for taking your time to read my work. 

I hope it add value to your life. 

Take Care and Have a Great Day!